An Honest Chicken

Yesterday I treated myself to lunch at the Co-op, which has a really nice, fairly local and all-organic deli. It's a nice walk from my office, about 15 minutes from door to door, and this summer has been so mild so far (knock on wood) that I could walk it fairly comfortably at 2pm on a July day. I took advantage of the hot bar, which featured Mediterranean potatoes, Spanikopita, creamed lentils, and Greek chicken - everything looked and smelled delicious. As usual, I sat down in the dining room and spread out my current read, The Omnivore's Dilemma, just above my plate so I could read and eat.

I'm nearing the end of the book, and started reading Chapter 18, titled "Hunting: The Meat". In this section, Michael Pollan recounts his first day hunting pigs in the hills of nearby Sonoma County, as part of his analysis of a completely hunted and foraged meal. I felt a little unsure about reading this section while eating, but I figured I could stomach it.

Somewhere around the time he was describing his friend's kill, I looked down to cut my chicken thigh, and the skin, which I suddenly recognized entirely as skin, slipped off the meat, revealing the plump, smooth, white muscle underneath. In a flash, I became acutely, sickeningly aware of exactly what I was eating, in a visceral way that I don't recall experiencing before. As someone who was a vegetarian for the better part of 17 years, and a vegan for some of that time, I've avoided this feeling by abstaining from the practice of eating meat, but at the beginning of this year I decided to become an omnivore again, for various reasons. I'd started out with barely perceptible meat - chunks of beef stuffed neatly away in a burrito, or sausage or liverwurst which has been fairly disguised. But now I had graduated to the kind of meat that is unmistakably animal.

I thought very hard about looking away, putting my fork down and leaving the remainder of the thigh, but this book made me think twice about it; if I'm going to make the conscious decision to eat meat again (which I have), then I'd better be as honest as I could about it. If I couldn't eat this chicken with full conscious knowledge and respect for the animal whose life ended in order to nourish me, then I didn't want to do it at all. So I finished my slice through the flesh and skin, almost bionically aware of each cut fiber, and ate another bite. Strangely enough, I enjoyed the flavor, and felt a strong spiritual gratitude surge through me. I felt that I needed to honor this animal's life by eating every bit of meat that I could cut off the bone; that it would have been disrespectful to be at all casual about what I was consuming; so I cleaned it thoroughly. I also felt grateful that even the last bite felt slightly uneasy. It was the most honest chicken meal I'd ever eaten.

Tonight I felt compelled to write about it, and even as I write I'm surprised by the power and profundity of yesterday's seemingly simple, everyday lunch. I hope I don't forget it.

Dig In

I've had a weekend that has been both exhausting - driving 4+ hours a day for four days - and rejuvenating - visiting with this beautiful woman and her fabulous family for a few hours here and there. We shared so many wonderful things each of us has learned about sustainable gardening and farming, traditional nutrition, natural mothering, spirituality, healing our mother wounds, and of course the occasional diatribe about poo. All in all a satisfying way to spend the weekend, and I'm so grateful!

My friend and I are both pretty avid bookworms, and as usual our conversation included lots of talk about what we've gleaned from recent reads. Here's a list of books both she and I are currently contemplating for various reasons:

MaryJane's Ideabook * Cookbook * Lifebook
I bought this over the weekend and am now looking for a free hour to read about baking, stitching and mending, and how a girl can run a farm.




Gaia's Garden
We may landscape our tiny plot of land this summer (.09 acres!) and I'm definitely going to buy this book in preparation. As my friend said this weekend: If you can't eat it, use it for medicine, or support your ecosystem with it, why plant it?




Nourishing Traditions
A wonderful reference in support of real, whole foods. The author is very knowledgable and extremely passionate about her message. Some find it overwhelming, and I've read that this book carries the message in a kinder, gentler, but no less powerful way.


The Omnivore's Dilemma
I have yet to read this book, but have heard so much about it and recently watched two hours of lecture and panel discussion with the author on UCTV (the University of California system's television station). Nearby UCDavis chose this book for this year's Campus Community Book Project - it's basically being taught university-wide in classes of all kinds.



Hygieia: A Woman's Herbal
My friend is a wonderful healer - and if you come down with any malady while in her care you will be well-tended! I woke up this morning with a UTI and she was all over it...she pulled down this book and this one and got to work. I'll have to get these soon.

I work a lot at scaling down my life - Descartes and I regularly go through the house trying to figure out what we can do without. But of all my possessions, books are the hardest for me to let go of. Who knows the psychology behind that, but I generally don't just read a book once and put it on the shelf - they are my constant companions, sources of wisdom that I can turn to again and again. This week I'm going to dig in and dream a little, about a life I wish for my future - a life with a little more land and the ability to grow more of our food, get back to sewing again and let the dogs (that I don't have yet) run across our fields each day. I'm going to dig in and see what fresh wisdom I can find in my many paper-and-ink friends.