Back On Track

Our show is finally open, and receiving lots of praise so far which makes us all feel good. It's been an exhilarating and exhausting process - two weeks of intense labor, if you will - and I'm so lucky to have cast and crew who have never tired of making changes or additions to better the show. What more could a director ask for?

But I'll admit, my body and soul need some time off. I literally haven't eaten a single meal at home for two weeks, and am totally off-track of my traditional food commitment. I tried to eat well overall, but still ended up having too much pasta and Jamba Juice. I look forward to cleaning our disaster of a kitchen and getting back to simple meals, lovingly made by me and/or Descartes. I look forward to re-establishing a daily yoga practice and having Thursday nights free again, so I can return to my weekly yoga class with my wonderful teacher. Hopefully it's not too late to plant my summer vegetable and herb garden, which has been completely neglected this spring. I've got to get back to the sewing machine and finish the apron I started for Julie, for her bridal shower. Basically, I've got a huge yearning to get back to domestic simplicity now that the creative baby I've carried for the last six months has finally arrived.

How do you get back on track when life has taken you off into the clover?

Which Jane Austen Character Are You?

You scored as Elinor Dashwood. As Marianne's older sister, Elinor lives at the other end of the emotional spectrum. She rarely reveals her intense feelings and is more concerned with being honest and loyal than having what she deserves. Even though her intentions are pure, she sets herself up for loss by constantly placing other people before her own needs. Overall, Elinor is gentle and rational but is just as capable of radical emotions (despite her withholding them) as her sister.

My close runner-up was Elizabeth Bennet. Elinor and Elizabeth are probably my favorite Jane Austen characters, for their internal strength, intelligence and self-awareness. Another favorite of mine, Anne Elliott from Persuasion, wasn't part of the quiz. Funny that Elinor and Anne are very quiet, sometimes painfully reserved characters while Elizabeth is one of the most boisterous and vocal female characters in all of classical literature, as far as I can tell! This week I've definitely been in the Elinor/Anne camp - so much intense emotion but feeling that there's never a good time to share it...thanks to Descartes and Pixie for giving me space and permission to let it out.

I've been on a bit of a Jane Austen kick lately, so this came to my attention at an opportune time. She created strong women who were still so feminine, so unmistakably feminine! Can you tell I'm a bit preoccupied with femininity? Well, read my first entry if you need to get caught up.

Take the quiz here...and thanks to Pixie for the idea!

One More Reason I Love IKEA

IKEA has started charging five cents for every bag you use when you check out. I stopped by this morning to get some of my favorite Swedish food and was delighted to see this new policy. Some Americans may not be so pleased, but I've long wondered why we haven't followed the example of the majority of European stores in this way.

I carry cloth bags in my car and use them for shopping as much as possible; and if I forget I try to go without (I'm certainly not perfect about this, but getting better all the time). In most grocery stores I'll receive a five-cent refund for each bag that I bring with me. This makes for a nice incentive (if you know about it) but in most European markets, you are expected to bring your own bag, and you'll be charged a small fee if you need to use the store's paper or plastic.

It's subtle, the difference between a refund and a fee, but nothing wakes up an American like money. Hopefully, stores that make this switch will wake us up to our ability to make a simple choice every day that results in much less waste in our landfills. I think it's neat that IKEA would make such a decision even though it may not benefit the "bottom line".

Would you like to give a shout out to a business that you respect? Post!

The Apron

Oh dear, rehearsals have started for the show I'm directing, and you can see how easily I begin to neglect my other avenues of creative expression! Three weeks away from the blog...hopefully I'll be able to keep up a little better from now on.

The apron seems to be making a comeback - to me it's a symbol of reclaimed femininity, domesticity as a source of yin-empowerment. My mother's generation had to set their femininity aside in order to be heard, acknowledged, and respected in the world of men. They had to fracture themselves somewhat - all grey flannel and pressed poplin at work, cotton and denim on the weekends to tend hastily to domestic tasks. I do not remember my mother in a dress, ever. She was working 60-hour weeks and traveling almost all the time - there was little time for "fussy" stylings. While I am grateful for the hard-won battles of the women's-libbers, I also feel it is my generation's dharma to come back into balance, honoring and integrating the yang-masculine and the yin-feminine energies within us. Oddly enough, I find this integration most visible in current fashion trends - lacy tops, flirty blouses and even dainty short dresses atop rough-and-tumble jeans and sexy heels. But inside as well, something is being reclaimed by us that, I hope, will not so easily be put down again.

I found my first adult apron at Anthropologie (a store that I love for its absolutely feminine take on even the most mundane clothing) a few months ago, and I wear it whenever I can. I plan to make a few aprons this year, to give to the women in my life. I hope they find their aprons imbued with the same soft power I have - the power to get done what needs to get done, without setting aside a little flounce and lace here and there.

What makes you feel your feminine power?

My Antiques Collection

At some point in my youth my mother decided I would collect music boxes. Actually, I don't remember if she chose that completely on her own or if I indicated at some point that I wanted to and she ran with it. When I was young, it seemed that everyone in my family collected something - it was seen as a part of your personality, and an easy tip for gift-giving. So throughout my childhood and teen years I received music boxes of all sorts, eventually honing in on those that played show tunes to match my love of musical theatre. There's one that plays "The Impossible Dream" and another that tings out "Hello, Dolly!" By the time I left home to strut my stuff on the Great White Way, I'd outgrown my collection so they drifted into the back of my mind, into a box in my parents' garage. Recently I came across them and wondered what I should do with them. Even though I don't want to keep a collection of music boxes, they've become somewhat sentimental to me.

I've never really understood the collector's mindset - what compels someone to collect hundreds of tiny Hummel figurines, or porcelain dolls with spookily vacant faces, or antique cookie jars? I don't have any judgment about it - actually I think it's kind of neat, but I've never felt the pull to have one of my own. I often wondered if there was anything I would someday grow to love enough to start a collection.

Last week a friend of mine taught me how to knit. We met at this yarn shop and spent some time perusing the miles and miles of gorgeous yarns from all corners of the world, spun into dizzyingly beautiful skeins and stacked in racks that rose above our heads. Although there were thousands of choices, I knew as soon as I felt the soft nubby chenille yarn in shades of plum, lavender and charcoal that it was to be my first project. Giddy and proud, I bought my first skein and set of needles, and we went back to her studio for the lesson. She was patient and encouraging - a great foil for my perfectionist and judge; they could barely get a word in edgewise with her positive coaxing! I learned the stitch, very slowly and clumsily at first but then with growing ease and comfort. We chatted about all sorts of things until it was time to go.

That night I sat knitting, and thinking about the "hobbies" that feel most important to me now - gardening, cooking, baking, sewing, knitting, slowing down - and I thought to myself, maybe this is my collection. I'm collecting antique skills, special tasks passed down from woman to woman for centuries. They speak the ancient feminine, the womanly arts that have kept families clothed, fed, and nurtured for so long.

These skills have been dying over the last century, since industry and convenience became more desirable than true craft and patience. I've grown up in a generation that largely doesn't know how clothing gets made, or food or the beautiful decorations that fill Target and Ikea. I forget that once upon a time people crafted their own, and grew up knowing how to do it because they had to. We don't have to anymore, but perhaps we should. The pendulum is swinging back to center. What were once cast aside as limiting and demeaning women's work in the feminist era are being reclaimed as links to our long feminine ancestry. As I stitch or knead or mend or tend, I am enlivening ancient knowledge.